I was passing through Las Vegas yesterday on my way home from SLC and Grand Jct. visiting my girls and their families.

My oldest T is in HI, “going to school” but the truth is she’s kicking up her heels in a way she never got to having married at such a young age and taking time off to find her true self.   I had two days with T before she headed back for HI , but it was a few days later that an illumination hit.  Motherly concern of course but then self talk is, “Who am I to judge? I’ve screwed up a time or two in the past.”  Then, “I hope I’m wrong!”  Screwing up is not a club to aspire entry into.

A, in the meantime is in the throes of buying  a new home and selling the old, which has been tumultuous at best and I thought of a friend of mine’s blog about “tiny houses”.  This new place could fit 10 tiny houses!

That said, I had intended to stop in Las Vegas.  I made up my mind I didn’t want to make the return trip all in one day as I’m accustomed to.  Truth is, I didn’t want to go home. But as it turns out the few places I considered were either too expensive or didn’t allow dogs.  If I was staying to visit, the price probably wouldn’t have bothered me, but I was just passing through.

After little deliberation, I chose to press on until I hit the traffic bog-down of “leaving Las Vegas” on a Sunday night…  I even considered going back into Vegas, but after making a few calls, they were either full up (in my price range) or the welcome wagon for a pooch was practically non existent and that included the towns of Jean and Henderson.

I would have back tracked to Vegas because there was a part of me that wanted to do a little gambling while I was there.  As for the other towns, I actually didn’t want to stay in any of those places anyway.  After plodding along for several more miles at 10 mph, I was ready at any cost to stop, so at the state line I pulled over. It would be my last chance.

I had a couple of choices here. On my side, going south was Whisky Pete’s and on the other was a place called Primm and Buffalo Bill’s.  I went in to Whiskey Pete’s.  Price was exceptional, but no dogs.  I explained to the man that I had a waterproof pen for him (the pooch) and that he weighed less than  four pounds. He asked if he had papers.  I said he was pure bred, but I had no papers on me. (I have no papers period but hoped saying that would be enough) He said Buffalo Bill’s was dog friendly.  I asked him if that didn’t work out, could I come back and not mention the dog?  He was kind and said we never had this conversation.  So, I left.

I then proceeded toward Buffalo Bill’s.  Buffalo Bill’s is like an amusement park and there were millions of kids everywhere and the place showed it.  I reluctantly drove around looking for the front before reasoning that I left A’s house earlier than intended because Ferguson had already had his fill of loud children and puppies, so I turned around and went back to Whiskey Pete’s.

This time “the man” was tied up and I got the woman next to him. He briefly looked in my direction, but we did not make eye contact. The lady saw my Alabama Driver’s license and thought I’d come a long way or was coming out for a visit.  I explained that I had been rounding up my divorce and marriage certificates in order to qualify for a California driver’s license. Hearing that, the lady next to her perked up.  Before long I was hearing the tale of another who although a legal resident couldn’t get a “legal” license because her birth certificate had too many names on it which is customary in her birth country. So even though she has a license, she cannot travel by plane with it because of how it’s marked.

When the friendly derision of the foibles of our governing system was at an end, I got my room.

I then proceeded to the car and prepped Ferguson.  First, he needed to do his “doggy duty”, which was nearly impossible because there’s little if any grass in this god forsaken part of the world!  Second I had to make sure I had supplies for him, ie food, water and a puddle pad. I opted out of taking his pen up though because I wanted take everything up all in one trip. (Big mistake! I’m now temporarily crippled because of a strained back)  Then I got my special bag, loaded him up, grabbed my stuff and went in.

Once I got him settled, I looked for a place to eat which consisted of prime rib, a pork chop and lots of pickled veggies.  NO, I’m not pregnant, but that’s what I was in the mood for, so I ate it.

A while later, I went to a machine to try my luck.  I gave myself $10 to lose and I did.  I played for quite a while actually.  I won, lost some, then won again and back  and forth until I lost the entire $10.

When I got to my room I began to analyze this.  It didn’t bother me that I lost, because I had “planned” to lose.

“Winners never lose and losers never win!!!”

Hmmm.  It really started to intrigue me.  How many of us go through life with that attitude?

How many times have I, have any of us, planned to lose?  It then raised another question, what would have happened if I’d had the attitude that I was going to win?  If I had walked away when I doubled my money though a small amount, would it not have planted in my brain that I am a WINNER!?

Once, a long time ago I allowed myself to lose a much larger sum. I like playing because I seldom do it and I frequently pass through without stopping.  The idea, in my mind, is to just have fun. That’s all.  No regrets. But, what if I’d gone in there with the idea I could win?

My husband says, it doesn’t matter, it’s still a game of chance. YES!!!

BUT… LIFE is  a game of chance.  Some people play it better than others because they believe, no, more importantly they play positively. Others in the meantime, may cry sour grapes and question the ethics and unfairness of this wealth distribution but they aren’t willing to give it their all. To win or better yet to work to win.

(This is not saying there is no crookedness among the rich or famous, but not all winners are crooked, which is the illusion or the story some may tell themselves of those who have success or are successful people.)

So ask yourself, are we willing to do what it takes to be a winner?

Do I play to win or to lose?