Today, I made the mistake of checking the scale.

I got off wanting to scream and cry.

I remember when, what seems like eons ago, I could out eat my dates, and still maintain a svelte figure.

Sadly those days are long gone.  Not only that, I can’t eat the equivalent of what I’d feed an infant and maintain any semblance of the old me. They say, whoever the proverbial “they” are anymore, that it’s not how much but what you eat.  I get that.

So, I have a good breakfast. Today not so much because I was pissed. I did the binge thing and made french toast(2) with strawberries and whipped cream! Oh and a slice of cantaloupe.

Generally though, I will alternate between an egg or two, sometimes a slice of bacon (yes, just one) with 1-2 slices of a whole grain toast(70cal), some Vegemite, jam and tea or just a bowl of whole grain cereal, like steel cut oats or a multi-grain with honey or brown sugar, a dab of “butter” and almond milk (sometimes but rarely with raisins and nuts). I don’t drink milk or eat boxed cereals.

I can’t eat and then go work out. So, on days that I force myself to go to the gym, I will blend a fruit, kale and protein drink and water. I take herbals each day (a whole handful) some to enhance my digestive system, thyroid, an appetite suppressant, bee pollen for energy, CoQ10, echinacea and other herbs recommended by a nutritionist I saw a year ago. Since then I’ve self diagnosed trying to figure out why my system is not cooperating.

On days I have a regular breakfast, I will have a protein drink for lunch. I eat a sandwich rarely because I gotta have chips with them and I’m a sucker for chips and pickles with a sandwich. I don’t drink coke except with pizza, tacos or hamburgers. Only because I figure whatever is in coke will help disintegrate whatever is in the meat. Again, this is an occasional treat. A regular dinner consists of, usually a salad (I make great salads with olive oil/lemon juice/garlic dressing). My salads include veggies. Then, some meat, which could be one chicken breast (if Russ and I are alone) split in half and pounded thin, we seldom eat red meat, though my trainer suggested I upped that. A side dish includes potato or steamed rice and veggies of one variety or another. (Broccoli, carrots, cabbage or some such- no squash Russ doesn’t like anything in the squash family, so I reserve that for when he’s not around or when we have company).  He’s a big pasta and potato man.  I do not, but I make it for him. In fact all my cooking has been adjusted for him. I make the regular ol’ southern meal seldom even though I love them.

“They” say to get plenty of exercise.  I get that too. Well, maybe not as much as I used to, as I sit here at the computer. All the more reason.

I had a personal trainer a year ago, but I had to stop her since I couldn’t afford the hefty fee any longer.

I was doing okay overall. I was strong and all, but I wasn’t losing weight.

She had me write down all I ate and then had their nutritionist make me a new diet plan.  She said, I wasn’t eating enough, especially protein for the amount of energy I was expending. Hmmm.

My body is too damn efficient. It really knows how to store.

I know I needed her because without her my workouts are inconsistent at best. Everyday, I put on my work out clothes saying I’m going to go to the gym to-day!  I don’t.

Over the holidays is when I got off the wagon and it’s been hard getting back on. My eating habits have gone downhill every since.

I’m a sunshine girl. If it’s not sunny, I’m not worth a damn!

Then to top it off, I’ve had a young lady visiting me from abroad and that girl is a bottomless pit. Anything at the end of the meal is consumed long after we’ve left the table. Gone. She even licked her plate once (or twice), which I would never have done.

I looked in my cupboard yesterday and told Russ, “I’ve not had to use (or wash) any of my storage containers for left overs in weeks!” There are no leftovers. She’s cute and bubbly and says, “I’m getting fat!” Really?

SHE’S GETTING FAT!?  I think all that food she’s consumed is being absorbed by MY body not hers!

I realize I was far more active in those olden days, but I have a frickin’ closet full of awesome clothes that don’t fit!!!

So,  I really don’t mind some of the extra pounds. After all, I’m no longer 20. I know I can’t be 100 lbs. again nor do I want to. BUT, I was 125 when I delivered Tina (hard to believe) and 135 when I had Andrea. That was full term too.  But I’d like to get at least close to the pregnancy weight I was with Andrea, which is what is recommended for my age. I’d like to do it for my health if nothing else.

What I know about my body is that if I eat sweets, I blow up and get all puffy. My joints hurt and I can hardly bend my fingers. THAT is an alarm to do something. Actually, that is really my only complaint.

Most people think I’m way younger My hair is good thinner but still good. I don’t look 69 – going on 70 this year. My skin elasticity is very good, better than most teens, so it’s not all bad.

I’ve got four wonderful children, Nine grandchildren and two great-grands, so hell, what’s a little weight?!

I just counted my blessings, didn’t I?

Forget the “Frump”.  I’m over it!  Thanks y’all. You’ve been great! <BIG SMILE>

Oh! Did I mention my husband works for a cheese import company that sells amazing cheeses to the Hollywood crowd? Yup!  And… he just walked in with an arm load!