I got my first oriental massage today.  I’m guessing that’s the style since the girl was Asian and hardly spoke any English.

She was good, I guess.

Like everyone, I’ve heard my fair share of oriental massage parlor rumors, so I tried to keep an open mind. She then asks me if I like it soft or hard.  Okay, her English was limited and I resisted the urge to burst out laughing and say I liked it hard… well, no I did say I liked it hard, I couldn’t resist that but I didn’t laugh. 

Understandably there were signs posted with six or seven rules starting with “Do not Solicit for sex”, “Don’t Touch the Masseuse!”, “No Sexual Activity”  and something about the police, etc. etc.  So given her question, I hope that anyone who might be tempted will have read the sign. Sadly, I didn’t even see it until I was redressing to leave. I was too busy getting under the covers as quickly as I could before she came back and caught me mostly naked.

Before I go any further, it was a very nice, clean, professional looking facility that just opened in an upscale neighborhood. As a “Grand Opening” draw, they were offering a major discount for new customers, so I walked in and made an appointment.

I might also add, I am not generally so prudish or excessively modest, but I’ve noticed I’ve been more so since my surgery and… there was a natural  compulsion to adhere to some semblance of propriety in regard for our cultural differences.  It made sense to me at the time.

So, it wasn’t that I’ve not had massages before. My sister is a massage therapist and she lives in Florida. My daughter and grand daughter are masseuses at an elegant downtown hotel and they live in Utah. My friend is also a masseuse but she lives in Alabama, so yes I’m familiar with massage.

There  are many techniques and each one of the above has a slightly different style or specialty.

My friend Mary focuses on the lymphatic system and her method is very gentle with feather-like strokes. My sister and my daughter have a different style from one another and yet are very effective.  Di does a deep tissue, Andrea  specializes in structural and movement and has a lighter but still firm touch, again a different style. Both do short strokes generally with a long finish. I’ve not had a massage from Beck yet, but maybe next time.

My first massage was a Swedish massage on a cruise ship and it was heavenly. I was 32.  Since then I’ve had a number of others in various places.  I like the heavier hand rather than pokey fingers but regardless of the technique, my favorites are by the girls listed above.

This little gal, was strong, but her strokes were long at first all the way down the back and then pushing away from the spine.  She did this with the sheet still over me, she says, to “warm me up” and loosen the muscles.  Only she had to say it twice before I figured it out. Then, she dropped the sheet and “oiled” me and let me tell you they needed those signs up there.

I kept my panties on but I don’t quite know why I bothered. When she was working my back she pulled them down to expose my entire buttock.  She pressed hard and worked one side, then dug in pushing the muscle away from my spine with her tiny fingers and then repeated the process on the other side and yes she hit some knots.  When she got to my legs she raised my panties giving me a major wedgie. She hiked up one side and then the other.  (Next time I’m buying a much hated thong so I can maintain some semblance of modesty.) Her strokes like I said were long, so when she went up one leg I thought she was going to enter the nether region. In the meantime between painful prods, I’m imagining some poor guy lying on the table at the mercy of this cutie running her hands up and down his body. He, is thinking about the much needed posting.

Like most masseuses, they only uncover the part they are working on, so this slippery chick (moi) is lying there wondering when I would get wiped down; but nope, she’d finish with one section, put the sheet back up, drop down the other side and start another area.

At that point I had so much oil on me I thought I was getting ready to be entered into a grease pig contest. Thank God I recently lost some poundage or I might’ve actually looked like one.

There I am obsessing about my stickiness and we are having a communication issue.  She says I’m tender in the “lie-ver” area.  It took two times and I got it, my liver.  Do I drink? No, not often. Okay, I have liver issues, but my mind is still trying to figure out how in the dickens I was going to get the oil cleaned up. She tried telling me that other tender spots were indicative of, I think she was trying to say poor circulation. I told her I exercise regularly, so maybe I didn’t get it right.

Up and down she went, spending most of the time on my back side. Now this is the best part. Before she asked me to flip over, she peeled the sheet off each section like she did before and this time laid a moist, hot towel over me, let it set a minute then wiped me down!!! Ahhh! That was the best part.

Now why was I worried?

Then came the flip side.  This part was anticlimactic. She did my face and my head, my neck and my shoulders and then the legs some, she pushed my feet forward and back but never massaged them and I just love foot massages, that’s my favorite part. It was supposed to be a full body massage!

At this point I didn’t fuss, mostly because I didn’t want to struggle with the language and the last time I said something (for a pedicure), it ended up costing me double, so I kept my mouth shut.

Besides, I walked out with a couple of sore spots and figured I’d gotten what I paid for. All in all, it wasn’t the best massage but it wasn’t the worse.

I wish them well and much success.

Oh yes, she left me to fix my own panties.

8 thoughts on “Massage

  1. That is awesome! We do some in California but I don’t like it as much. Colorado I’d just go out my back door, here you have traffic, I don’t find it as pleasant but my husband doesn’t mind.


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