Albert Einstein Said It But It Need Not Be So

Einstein

Uncanny prediction. Based on the following pictures, we might be inclined to agree. (P.S. I’ve been informed Snopes says he didn’t say this) Still, a ponderable quote -smile.

Planning the honeymoon

Honeymoon

How about a day at the beach?

Funny surprised woman watching social media in a smart phone on the beach Stock Image

Young

Old

mature-couple-mobile-phones-bench-happy-park-autumn-73524551

On a date?

Dinner with family and friends? couple-date-playing-their-phones-young-men-women-sitting-looking-cell-isolated-white-background-72054224

At dinner

Egads!  Does anyone else see themselves here?

________________________

I have a sweet son, who is learning how to engage with the human race.  It has been hard for him.  He is a Millenial, raised on technology. It’s so difficult for young people to stay connected in a real way.

You may not know this about me, but I am really, truly shy.  Internally, I agonize over interacting with the human race. If someone has a child or a dog, I zero in on them and then the rest happen as it may.  Have you ever seen others do that? They go for the dog?

I was lucky though. I did not have technology to hide behind. I had a stage mom who forced me into modeling and putting me into charm school.  Do they even have those anymore?  I learned how to walk, talk, dress and smile.  Yup! It wasn’t easy, but I learned.

girl w umbrella
In Balboa Park for modeling portfolio

She then poked and prodded for me to enter beauty contests and finally land my first real job as a flight attendant. A glamorous, glib, flight attendant!!!  Talk about scary.  In those days we didn’t have recorded devices to give you emergency information.  We actually had to memorize and make these announcements ourselves.

My first PA was ghastly.  I’ll never forget seeing my training stew running up the aisle to quickly inform me to lower my voice a few notches so I wouldn’t panic the passengers.  I was shaking like a leaf. Before long, I was practically performing skits to entertain passengers, especially on delayed trips, or fog outs/ins.  I was forced to engage.

Kids today are generally really not stupid, though. They just don’t know how to interact.  I have noticed that young people have difficulty either relating to adults or to their peers.  They are seldom strong in both. I’ve seen teens and young people who just cannot engage with or be in the presence of an adult without looking like they are about to leap out of their own skin!  I know my son, does well with adults and children, but is terrified of his peers.  I know some of that is because he has ADD and was bullied in school, but it has not gone away.  It still haunts him.

He says, he wants to be more like me.  I gave him my tricks.  For parties, I arrive early and get busy helping. This way people come in one at a time and it’s less scary.  Take a pal with you, someone to talk to. They don’t have to know you are using them as a crutch. Check out the room, there is usually someone there as nervous as you. Go to that person and engage them in conversation.  If they are unresponsive, because that is often the case, move on.  When doing this becomes a habit, you no longer think of how frightened you are.

These days, even though I’m married, I do most things alone. He’s not into theater, movies and the like, so I go alone to go at all. Those I know that do, live far away from me. I’m actually surprised at how many people I know, especially in California who don’t care for the arts.  When I go to LA for networking, I’m alone.  Fortunately, many artists are introverts, so I’m in good company.  Again, I arrive early, which helps a lot.

Do I spend time on the phone? Oh yeah, but I’m working on it.  Mostly I’m guilty of doing it with my hubby. Yes, I have to admit to sitting in the car driving cross country with my him doing this very thing. He didn’t like it.  Since then, unless I’m checking directions, I do my best to keep him engaged.  After all, what if he falls asleep and I don’t notice and there we go, veering off the highway into a ditch or maybe into a semi? It could happen.

Preoccupation with the phone is something I try not to do while with others. It’s rude and hurtful.  When someone does it to me, it just tells me they’d rather be on their phone than in my presence and quite frankly, if that’s the case then… Ba, BYE!

More and more I’m working up the nerve to just tell someone that’s how it feels.

 

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Okay, so really?

Come on give them some credit! Maybe they’re researching the artist?

  • Pictures courtesy of dreamstime.com, the web and personal.

RIP Steve Tilford

My husband follows only one blog. Steve Tilfords.  Why?  Because cycling is his passion.  He’s been riding bikes since he could walk, so Steve Tilford’s blog was right up his alley.

My husband knows I blog and on some occasions he will read my blogs, but generally speaking, he doesn’t follow them. At one time and in his younger days, my husband was an avid cyclist. He cycled in many San Diego competitions, belonged to riding groups, that toured both in and out of state. We’ve earned our living selling cycling gear and equipment, so in light of that, cyclists mean a great deal to us.

So it was devastating to him to learn, when he got home, the news.  So I am passing it on. I know many of you may not be into cycling, some are, but no matter.  I’m sharing this because he was also a fellow blogger.

In my husbands words…

“This guy was a contemporary of mine though attaining a much much higher level of cycling success than I ever knew.  Never met him but felt like I knew him a bit through his almost daily blog which was the only blog I read regularly.  The guy really lived life to the fullest on his own terms.  Reminds me of a line from a song…”Life is short and filled with stuff”.  His life sure was.”

So on behalf of my husband, cyclists and bloggers, I would like to dedicate this post to Steve Tilford, the only blogger my husband ever followed, for the passion they shared in cycling.

http://stevetilford.com/2017/04/05/bad-news/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/early-lead/wp/2017/04/05/cycling-champion-steve-tilford-killed-in-car-crash-near-utah-colorado-line/

I’ve driven that stretch of road and know that it is the end of a long boring stretch through Utah. Grand Junction would have been a logical place to stop to rest, but they were just shy of reaching that destination, in fact only minutes away.

I’m guessing all parties had been driving a long time and were tired and I imagine their reaction time may have been impaired and contributed to this fatality.

Deseret News of Utah states:

Tilford’s last entry on his blog was on Tuesday.

“Heading East. Kind of later than I had thought, but that is a good thing. Little short of time. I’m going through Las Vegas to drop off some stuff to a friend. … Then to St. George, Utah. Vincent has some work there, so he was trying to catch up.”

From San Diego to Grand Junction, that is an approximately 15 hour drive. My guess is they would have tried to make Denver that night, which is another 3-4 hours away.

So sad.

Decisions, Decisions

I was just reading a post* that triggered a thought that helped me understand something about paired couples.

My blogger friend is just working through her loss of her husband, her partner in life and friend. She states,

“This is where I am heading now. I’m kind of liking my own company. I’m kind of liking making my own decisions on what to do, where to go, whom to see. Not at first …. wow…. that was ROUGH. Coming to realize just how many decisions he made SIMPLY by being there, was amazing.”

What caught my attention was the last line. “Coming to realize just how many decisions he made SIMPLY by being there…”

To how many of us does that apply to?  I see that every day of my life. I can see how many of my decisions hinge on my him being here with me.

My youngest daughter recently got a divorce because of that very thing. She tried to explain it to me because she knew how much I liked the guy.  He had his faults, many to be sure, but I liked him. No, I loved him like a son. It’s hard for her right now because her husband made a very good living as a geologist, but his being there either to approve or disapprove, to cheer or not cheer her in her life’s goals was stifling her.  Mostly, he disapproved and would unconsciously block her efforts. It can be so hard to fight that and when you have a dream you keep putting off, you do need someone in your court to achieve it.

I love my husband, but he pretty much does the same thing, but I plod on anyway.  I’m seventy now and I’m pretty certain, he’s not going to bail on me now. Pretty certain.

We don’t always see eye to eye … he still says things like…  do we really need that?… well, if you get that you got to get rid of something else. It used to work to get me to put down whatever it is he doesn’t want me to get.  I just ignore him now. That’s just what he says.

But of the things he doesn’t say or no longer needs to involve little things. It’s always the little things. For example, I’d eat mostly vegetarian, but he doesn’t like squash… well, he likes potatoes, onion, garlic, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and tolerates peas, carrots and celery. Eggplant, forget about it.  He will try exotic veggies like celeriac at least once. So, I give him that. He doesn’t care for fruit unless it’s dried. I would like to eat more seafood but he doesn’t care for most of that. No shrimp, crab or lobster- too expensive. None of that. What can I say? He’s a meat and potato kind of guy. He also loves lots of starch, breads and pasta.  Loves pasta, so that’s an easy fix.

Without him, I’d eat whenever I feel like it, nothing if I didn’t.  Because he works all day, I feel obligated to have something ready for him when he gets home. I know what he likes. He loves Mexican, pizza, sushi and Chinese takeout.  Things like that. I tolerate it. Well, I like homemade Mexican. Homemade is always better.

As my sister can attest to when I screamed out at her, “I HATE CHINESE!”. I cringe at Chinese.

I don’t really, but when we were living in Alabama and in a small town to boot, my father’s favorite places were Mexican food and Chinese buffet. There weren’t many interesting places to eat there, other than fried everything else. Buffets were popular there and we were so delighted when they opened up a Chili’s, a Red Lobster, and a couple of other chains.  That was as exotic as they got.  If we wanted something better, we’d have to drive an hour to the big city of Birmingham to get it. Which we often did.

Keep in mind, we grew up in California and as much as we both grew to love Alabama, it initially took some major psychological adjusting to get there. Food was one, not to mention, NO STARBUCKS!!!

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Attalla House with the black wallpaper before the trees were taken down.

On this one particular day, while working several days on the house we were prepping for mother to come live with us, I’d been stripping wall paper all day long. I worked a regular day job to boot, so this was my weekend. There were several rooms with this awful black with pink floral wall paper and it had to go. Needless to say, she’d gone shopping for supplies and either she had found or not found something we needed and perhaps asked what we were to eat. I don’t recall the details to be honest. From the top of the ladder, exasperated and exhausted I listed my frustrations, punctuated with  “and I hate Chinese!”

Her eyes went wide, in shock as she looked up at me.

“It’s true. All we eat is Chinese and I’m sick of it!!  Mexican and Chinese! That’s all there is!”, I screamed.

Instantly, we both erupted in laughter. I climbed down and we just laughed  and laughed until our sides ached. Laughter is the best medicine.

There were times during this event of caring for mother that I thought how difficult it is to come to a town with none of the amenities we were both accustomed to and always considering another person. Sharing a house with a sister I’d not been with since we were teens was hard.  We’d grown worlds apart. Sometimes we didn’t get along. Her making adjustments to me and my husband was tough as well. We were always having to be like the tides, ebbing and rising. Was it all bad?  NO!  I miss my sister terribly with her in Florida and me in California now and I know I’d miss my mister if he weren’t by my side.

Is it hard? YES! but on the flip side, what are they sacrificing for being with us?  What is the sum total of the equation? Relationships are give and take. My sister has chosen to remain single. It is very hard for her but she has chosen.  Like my daughter, they have chosen to not have anyone by their side to share the good, the bad and the ugly with.  Sometimes we have to fight to find our place and keep our identity. Some of us don’t know how to fight so it’s better to do without.  I think it frightens some people to blend into or with someone else. I know the biggest fear for me was not to lose self. I had in my previous marriages and feared that in this one. Granted, sometimes, part of self is needed losing. I remember the me that was loud and brash. That’s gone and it needed to be gone.

I always had a hard time speaking up. Given my past of “children should be seen and not heard”, I had difficulty standing up for myself. With my mister, our turning point was one day, many years ago. He did or said something and I turned away from him and uttered under my breath, “Idiot!”.  He thought he heard but said, “What did you say?!” I looked up at him and said it again. Suddenly, instead of being mad, we both burst out laughing.

Laughter. Never forget to laugh. I learned then and there that it’s not the end of the world to disagree with your partner. They aren’t going to stop loving you if you speak your mind. From then on, that’s how it was. Now if one of us does something stupid, we jokingly say “Idiot” followed by laughter.

Even so, there are always going to be things I don’t do because of him as I’m sure there are things he doesn’t do because of me. Would we be better without? No.

As my friend went on to say, “It (those decisions) wasn’t an issue because we were together…”

That’s it.

 

This post was inspired by the blog, “Where Do I Go From Here?” 

 

 

 

 

Medudo Rojo (Red Menudo)

Menudo Rojo (Red Menudo)

Menudo Rojo (Red Menudo)

GUSTAVO60

GUSTAVO6

“Inexpensive to make, and fully authentic, this menudo will have your Latin lovers swooning! This recipe uses a combination of chiles to deliver its trademark red color, and packs a mildly spicy punch. And it is really quite easy to make – my husband absolutely devoured it the first time I made it.” Quote by Gustavo6.
The following recipe is taken from “allrecipes.com” and is as close to what my aunt Carmen makes as I could find on the web.  To give credit where credit is due, the original web link is at the end. If it’s written in italics, I wrote it.
When I saw the recipe for an Italian tripe stew by Paola,  “Trippe in umido alla Genovese:” 
https://primononsprecare.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/trippe-in-umido-alla-genovese/ on Paola’s site,  her interest in my recipe compelled me to join “our” familial versions on one page. Granted, mine is borrowed.
I do want to mention that there are other versions of Menudo as it varies regionally.  I had never known that until I stepped into an authentic Mexican restaurant, “La Orquidia” in Alabama and ordered.  It came without the hominy.  I discovered that those from the Guanajuato region did not use hominy.  It was disappointing. Their Pozole on the other hand was similar and delicious as was the rest of their menu.  If you go online you will discover several other versions of Menudo.  The version that follows is like what my family made and I grew up eating. Enjoy!

MENUDO ROJO

  • 3 gallons water, divided
  • 2 1/2 pounds beef tripe, cut into 1-inch pieces
  • 6 cloves garlic, finely chopped
  • 1 large white onion, finely chopped
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons salt
  • 1 tablespoon ground black pepper
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons dried oregano
  • 2 tablespoons ground red pepper
  • 5 de arbol chile peppers *
  • 6 japones chile peppers, seeds removed *
  • 6 cups canned white or yellow hominy, drained
  • 1/2 white onion, chopped
  • 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
  • 2 limes, juiced
  • Add all ingredients to list

Directions

Preparation time: 30 min   Cook: 8 hours    Ready in: 8 hours 30 min

  1. In a large pot, bring 1 gallon water to a boil. Place tripe in the pot, reduce heat, and simmer 2 hours. Periodically skim off fat with a spoon. Drain water, reduce heat, and pour in a fresh gallon of water. Continue to simmer tripe for 2 hours; drain.
  2. Pour remaining 1 gallon water into the pot with tripe, and bring to a boil. Stir in garlic and 1 white onion. Season with salt, pepper, oregano, and red pepper. Reduce heat, and simmer 1 hour.
  3. Preheat the broiler.
  4. Arrange the de arbol chile peppers on a baking sheet, and broil about 2 minutes, just until they begin to scorch. Remove from heat, slit lengthwise, and remove seeds. In a blender or food processor, blend the de arbol chile peppers and japones chile peppers until very finely chopped. Mix into the pot, and continue cooking 2 hours over low heat.
  5. Mix the hominy into the pot. Continue cooking 1 hour. Serve with remaining onion, cilantro, and lime juice.

You may want to start this the day before.  I know when my aunt cooks it she starts very early in the morning.  It is usually ready by about 1 or 2 pm in the afternoon.

She usually has on the side, in little bowls, dried oregano, sliced radishes, chopped cilantro and onion and slices of lime.  You add these to taste.  The above picture shows mint but it is not in the recipe. 

**The two above chili’s look similar but have a different flavor, so you may need to look them up. If you buy them dry, which is fine, you just need to skip the roasting part. (Roasting  will fragrant your home).

Chile Japones

I copied the recipe from: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/68837/menudo-rojo-red-menudo/?internalSource=similar_recipe_banner&referringId=15343&referringContentType=recipe&clickId=simslot_4

It was the closest to how I’ve seen my aunt make it.  She makes it so well, I’ve never had to make it myself but once. How many times do I have to brag on this? This is delicious!

Kind of a deviation from what I normally do.  I hope you like it!!