Don’t Judge a Book by it’s Cover

I was just watching a video clip of a young man and girl on you tube.  It was the typical, Simon Cowle makes a face or tweaks his mouth in reservation, judging them.  If you look at the faces in the audience, you see they too have made a determination about this couple.

Case in point.  You have to see this.

You see what I mean?

Later, we see this:


We, as people make snap judgments on everything we see or hear.  We often times don’t wait to get the full picture. I do it all the time and I generally hate myself for it afterward.

We are often hardest on one another. Judging. Always judging.

If someone walks out of the john with toilet paper trailing behind them, we tend to snicker or let it be, we do nothing to rescue them. Mind you, I didn’t let that pass, but did notice many who did.

If someone looks different, smells different, is fat, has too many tats, hair too long, varied in color or they look tattered, dirty or perhaps their mascara or lipstick is smeared or worse yet there’s a good looking guy with a big booger in his nose. What do we do? Do we tend to turn away and think, yuck!?

At that moment when the young woman came out of the ladies room trailing tissue, I ran up to her from behind and blocked the view as best I could and tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Stop! You are trailing tissue and your skirt is up!” Though embarrassed, she hadn’t gone far and was so very grateful. I had rescued her.

I remember feeling like a hero. The thing of it is, she was a large girl with poor posture and sadly dressed. She had all the makings of a joke, the kid in school that everyone would make fun of, yet something inside me didn’t hesitate.  I’m sure she may even have had the same level of confidence of Jonathan.

Yeah, yeah. While it may appear I pat myself on the back, I don’t.

There have been times, I would have wanted someone to tell me if something was askew, instead of me finding out hours later. There have been many a time I was not the rescuer.

I’m sure we all recall moments in time where we fell short.

Like the young kids above, sometimes people need “rescuing” in different ways. Sometimes, they just need a helping hand.

The story above is a lesson to us all and in many ways. On the surface it’s one of friendship and loyalty true, but it’s more than even that. At least to me it is.

At first he’d been judged and then she was judged.

Sometimes I think in rescuing others, we rescue ourselves. In the end they went their separate ways amicably two years later. For a time though they needed that bond they found in each other to give them each the lift needed to work independently. He had time for the stigma of his size to pass.  As Jonathan and Charlotte’s confidence level improved, they were both finally free to explore their talent, each in their own way. Both are doing extremely well on their own now. 

Sometimes, if you see a friend in need, or if someone reaches out, it doesn’t have to be forever but only for a time. You never know what impact you might make on someone’s life, but especially your own for having been there.

I once had someone tell me that the good deed doers are in it for themselves, for how it makes them feel to do it. Perhaps. I can’t deny, it does feel good to help someone but what harm is there in that?

As for the booger.

It was me who didn’t tell the good looking guy he had a booger in his nose.

We were in high school. Granted he’d been surfing earlier and water tends to do that, but I thought he should know that. I remember him flirting and smiling and I wouldn’t give him the time of day. All I saw was the booger. Besides that, it seemed that all he ever did or cared about was surfing. Out of high school, he went on to be a fireman. It turns out he wasn’t a loser. While fighting fires, he got a contractors license and built some very nice homes in California. Later he would move to Hawaii with his wife, a former cheerleader which surprised everyone and went on to build multi million dollar homes there.  At our class reunion, he told my husband how he’d always thought I was so hot and how I wouldn’t give him ‘the time of day’! Yeah, that was me.

My husband and I have a word for that. “Idiot”

As I said, don’t judge a book by it’s cover.  You will almost always be surprised.

13 thoughts on “Don’t Judge a Book by it’s Cover

  1. in both ways….Don’t judge negatively in particular on appearance
    …and be very careful when people present “to good to be true”, they are the real arseholes….

    Liked by 2 people

  2. well said – and whew -so often we judge with the negative angle in mind… ha.

    and the lipstick on the teeth is what came to my mind when I read the part about the toilet paper (or booger)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Please don’t post these YouTube thingys again. I watched one, then had to watch another, then googled what the two were up to, their first album, then another. Now, they’ve both signed solo deals with Sony Classical. Then I ended up watching Britain’s Got Talent for over an hour. Some of those people have got talent. But please don’t offer me this kind of temptation again. I have posts to write, comments to write, boogers to wipe.
    Judging: it’s the human thing to do. We can’t help ourselves. For me, I judge women who dress up. I mean, sure, I don’t mind looking at them, but who are they dressing up for?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. LMAO!! I know huh? I hate them too for that very reason.

    As for why women dress up? Russ says mostly for other women and there may be some truth in that but not always. For example, yesterday at 5AM when Tina was getting ready for a 13 hour drive home, she was getting all gussied up. (I knew she’d be wilted by the time she arrived home) but said nothing about that. Our conversation: I sidle up next to her and said, “You want to make sure you remind him what he’s missed, huh? (In other words, “miss this?” – she was here two weeks). She smiles and says “yeah”. Me- “Well, honey, if he really missed you, he won’t care what you look like.”
    We dress up for two reasons, aside from work requirements. When I was at PSA, we had to be top of the line. Aside from that,
    One is to flaunt what “you” can’t have. The other is just for us. It may be a pick me up because today I turn 70 and I want to pick myself off the floor for suddenly feeling like my true age is catching up to me. It’s more than a guy just washing his face or shaving. When guys age or start graying, they tend to look sexy. Not so with women. Years ago, I don’t think I wore anything on my face other than a smile. But now I put on sunscreens to prevent further skin damage and cover-ups for the white and brown patches that have surfaced from all those years as a sun goddess that now make me look like I didn’t wash or that I might be contagious. It is what it is.
    Does Russ care? Nope! I do it for me.


  5. I know this is an old exchange and not sure you’ll even see this but what do you hear from our friend, Mr. Fish?? He OK?

    Thought of you on our recent Road Trip as we drove right through your stomping grounds. Beautiful area. Would love to still live down there!


    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve not heard from the Fish either. I’ve been a bit worried about him as well. I told our daughter and hope she will be able to make contact. I haven’t heard back from her yet, but then she’s busy with school, so don’t know if she checks her emails much either.

    Liked by 1 person

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